tvthatdoesntsuck

Kinda being an understatement.  Without True Blood, not only is Sunday about ten times less interesting… but there is also nothing to blog about.  So I figure I’ll put together a list of movies I’ve seen this year.  In order of GREAT to SUCK.  And this is only theater-seen movies, because I don’t even know how many of the f***ing things I’ve seen on DVD this year.

Alright.  Let’s get cracking.

Some, I’ll explain.  Some, I won’t.

1. The Dark Knight - Self explanatory.

2. Wall-E - For my full review, click here.

3. Forgetting Sarah Marshall - A rom-com for guys, written by the ever creative Jason Segel, who is a God among men.  For my full review, click here.

4. Pineapple Express - Not as much heart as FSM, but as far as humor, it’s the funniest comedy since Superbad.  Also, freakin’ Seth Rogen and James Franco.  C’mon.  Made of win.

5. Ghost Town - Highly entertaining.

6. Role Models - Trailer sucked, but surprisingly, this was a damn, damn good movie.  Plus, the song in the end?  Yup.  Go watch it.

7. Nick and Nora’s Infinite Playlist - The rare film that’s better than the book.  I wish the beginning hadn’t tried to be Juno 2, which was too high a goal for this movie to shoot for, but it was still good.  Not fantastic, but a very entertaining “night out” film.  Plus, Michael Cera.  And bonus points for Kat Dennings, seeing as I worship at the Altar O’ Dennings.

8. Twilight - Stop the Buffy comparisons.  Yes, Buffy is better.  Obviously.  But see, Buffy is better than everything, so it’s not really a fair comparison.  Bella isn’t the passive girl from the books, and Kristen Stewart really injects life into the character.  Very worth your movie ticket, if you can drown out the fan girl screams.

9. The Happening - Dedicated a whole post to the movie early in this blog’s life.  If I had to give it an award, perhaps I’d call it the most… misunderstood movie of the year.  Eh.  Everyone but me, Chris (star of Whatz Good Studios), Antwon (co-star of WGS), and Roger Ebert seemed to hate it.  At least we’ve got the Thumber on our side.

10. Hancock - Solid superhero flick.  Like Iron Man, it went a bit sour in the middle, but unlike Iron Man, the final scenes were good enough for the film to bounce back.  Plus, Will Smith is a force of nature.  It’s not I Am Legend, but it is a good action movie.

11. Cloverfield - Bring a barf bag if you get motion sickness… but don’t worry.  It’s worth the puke.

12. Zach and Miri Make a Porno - It’s not Kevin Smith’s best, and it’s obviously not Rogen’s best choice, but it’s entertaining.  It had potential to be great, because… I mean… Seth Rogen and Kevin Smith!  But in the end, it was just… pretty good.  The humor was fine, but the emotion wasn’t handled well at al.

13. The Spiderwick Chronicles - Nice take on the books.  Good family flick.

14. Hellboy 2: The Golden Army - Horrible first half, solid second half.  If you like the first film and can stomach about an hour of bad, maybe you will like this.

15. Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay - The racial politics are a bit heavy handed, but the humor is still there, and the relationship stuff is way better than the first film.  Overall, it’s about a tie, but certain aspects of this do outshine “White Castle.”  What brings this down, though, is lack of “White Castle.”

16. The Ruins - Not a bad horror film.  Not truly scary, but the concept was interesting, and it did have Jena Malone.

17. Drillbit Taylor - Rogen was hired to write this off an outline, and you can tell it isn’t his idea.  It’s very Superbad Lite, but Superbad Lite still manages to get some solid chuckles.  This will probably end up in the bargain bin… but hell, I’d buy the sucker for five dollars.  Six, though?  That’s pushing it.

18. Prince Caspian - And the list takes a turn for the worse.  If you liked the first film… nah, sorry, can’t even.  Bad movie.  Drawn out plot, horrible writing, acting is the same stuff, themes are the same stuff.  They pretty much take an epically long time to do absolutely nothing new.

19. You Don’t Mess With the Zohan! - Like The Dark Knight, the ranking of this movie is self-explanatory.  If you want, you can find the review on my Amazon page… but do you really need to?

20. Indian Jones and the Kingdom of Crystal Skull - Can’t believe I saw 21 films in theatres this year.  This was the only one I fell asleep on, but that was admittedly not for so long.  Only about fifteen minutes.  I can safely say that not only is this movie boring, it’s also cheesy.  And drivel.  That’s an appropriate word.  It’s drivel.

21. Wanted - Worst film of the year.  Plot holes the size of Christina Hendrick’s bust, horrible dialogue, and overall badness.  It’s one of the worst there is.  Laughably (literally, ask the audience I sat with, they were rolling) bad.  What the f*** have I done lately?  Seen a damn bad movie.  Thanks Wanted.

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